Earth Day!

So, since tomorrow is Earth day, and you know how much I LOVE the whole green movement, I've decided to celebrate it in my own personal way:

In the morning I'm going to pick up the Hummer H1 (the big one) I'm renting so I can spew out exhaust while I burn gas at 7MPG.  Maybe I can run over a few Priuses (Pri-i?) while I'm at it.  Trendy commie-mobiles.

I'm eating nothing but beans and steak all day, so I can maximize my methane output - You guys know me well enough to know I'll give those freaks who claim that cow farts are contributing to global warming a freaking aneurysm.

I'm going to spend all day breathing like Bill on Ventrillo  so I can put out as much CO2, which the EPA says is a pollutant and should be taxed, as possible.

I've got the Christmas lights hung up to celebrate Earth day, so while everyone turns off all of their lights and appliances for their half hour to conserve energy and pay homage to their filthy hippy gods in thier smug "I'm better than you because I believe that I can save the planet" fashion, I will make the ultimate sacrifice and light up the entire neighborhood.  Maybe to help people cope with thier half hour of smugness I'll open up the windows and crank up my computer speakers so I can give them some musical entertainment.

When I get home, I'm going to throw the biggest barbecue/bonfire as possible. Feel free to come over and toss whatever you think will make the coolest color smoke onto the fire.  Maybe if we can get it big enough, the fire department will come up in thier 2MPG truck and spray/waste 1000 gal of water putting the inferno out.

And once everything is said and done for the day, I will drive up 94 a little bit, enjoy the amazingly clear Earth Day night sky (obviously caused by people being "green", they saved the sky!), and while I take in the beauty of the world around me, I'll take a piss in the St. Charles Co reseviour. 

So if your with me, find a good way to celebrate Earth Day in your own fun way.  If you think I am a horrible person...fuck you hippy, I hope you and everyone like your trendy smug ass die in a horrible recycling-related accident. 


-{CB}DropKickPuppy

Transformers 2 is fucking cool, and there's nothing anyone can do about it.

Most carbon-based lifeforms are by now aware that the second theatrical release in the Transformers franchise is now showing. The majority of reactions I have heard/read in response to it have been overwhelmingly negative. To quote one of my friends, for example:

"If the first Transformers was Stan Bush, than the second is Dirk Diggler."

The following is my official review of Transformers 2: Reign Of The Phallus, or whatever the fuck it's called. It doesn't really matter. Everything about the movie, including the title, "plot", and characters, is just an excuse to show alien robots fighting. Please read on:


Dude. Seriously. What the fuck was everyone expecting from this movie? A complex, multifaceted plot with Shakespearean dialogue?

IT'S A FUCKING MOVIE ABOUT A CARTOON AND TOY LINE FROM THE 1980s THAT FEATURED GIANT ROBOTS FROM SPACE THAT TURNED INTO CARS AND PLANES.

That's it! It's not a terribly involved premise. That's what this movie is about, and that's what we got. Two and a half hours of giant robots kicking the holy shit out of each other, with badass special effects and multiple shots of Megan Fox running in slow motion. The only type of people who aren't thoroughly entertained by this are limp-wristed pussies who sustain on a diet of soy lattes, drive a Toyota Prius, and sit around watching IFC all day.

IT IS AWESOME WHEN GIANT ROBOTS BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER. That's why Transformers 2 is fucking cool, and there is nothing anyone can do about it.

FUCK TWITTER

Those are currently the two greatest CB Words of Wisdom.

Fuck Twitter. Fuck this self-serving, blowhart crap. Fuck all of these people who feel it neccessary to "micro-blog" about every mundane, god-damned incident and feeling in their lives like it's a fucking special event. Who the hell even reads this crap?

Also, fuck the celebutard universe and spam monkeys that have taken it over.

I joined Twitter about a month ago on an invite from Gabe. Cool, whatever, I've heard of it, why not? I added about four or five other people that I know, as well as Wierd Al's feed and Glen Beck (I think)

I've looked at it maybe four or five times since and seen PILES OF CRAP from the people that I know. Wierd Al at least just occasionaly posts links to new videos or progress on projects that fan might actualy find interesting. AND it opened the door to indirect spam! I get at least one notification a day of someone following me that's just a spam bot spamming spamy links to cheap drugs, a dating service, or get rich quick schemes.

These Supernews sketches sums it up very nicely: Twoble with Twitter and Celebrity Twitter Overkill