Adventures in kitchen remodeling

You ever play operation?
 - Yeah, but, why?
You see that wire? It's live, and if it touches the metal, we're screwed.

- Josh G.

work work

Hey, since I've been eating your nuts all morning, you want some of my meat?
 - Ninjatech

Things overheard at Thanksgiving

I like it wet. I like it chunky. I like it when you have to dig it out with a spoon. That's how my mother liked it and that's how I like it.
- Marsupial's mom

It's for texture! You stick it in your mouth, and it feels good!!
- Marsupial's dad

Gingham's after Timothy's

Now you're loaning my girlfriend's tire iron.

His half and half ended up in my mouth.

...you see, the real Christopher Walken is gradually catching up to me.

Pretty soon... oh yes. Pretty soon.

Aquarial Intercourse?

Fun with tounge twisters!

How much fish could a fish fuck fish if a fish fuck could fist fuck fish? If a fish fist fuck could fuck fish sticks in the fucked fish tank, why haven't fist fucked fish sticks lost yet?

If a harpsichord found ze cord, could ze harpsichord wrap ze chord around ze piano wire?

Dave:



me: You have too many Pylons...
in your butt...

Dave: NeveR!

oh wait...

me: ReveN?

Dave: more?

me: NO!!! NO MORE BUTT PYLONS!!!!

Dave: Never more?

me: Damit Dave....
Stop Pyling On
...your butt...

Dave: more cannon!!!!!!

the whole fucking map must be covered in cannon!

me: Wait, you want to replace maps with generally accepted lines of fiction pertaining to a particular universe?
How will we ever find the Quickie Mart?
Unless it's Simpsons cannon...

Dave: A chicken for every pot and a Cannon for every butt!

me: GOD dammit Dave...