I need better filters on it though, there's always cat in everything.

- Sooo... there's a little pussy in your computer?

Ginghams Singles Pledge

I do (softly) swear that I am ready to commit to being single - for now. I know that (smashing) by myself is a (knife) of honor, not a (banana) of shame. I am willing to wait as long as it takes to find a loving (dildo) who will appreciate me for the (zoron) I am, treat me like a (cup), and not play games with my (toe). Furthermore, I will not engage in (gritty) activities, like one-night (unicorns), that will only makeme feel (cancerous) afterward. I understand that it's better to be alone than to let someone (rampage) all over me. I realize that focusing on myself right now will make me a better (bunyon) to someone else later. And I know that when I see two elderly (lampshades) (poking) along the sidewalk holding (taint), it represents what I will have when I find the (centipede) of my life. My name is (Kreutz), and I am single - and fabulous!"

She's my sex-box, and her name is Dell

So THATS why they wanted a slot load optical.

Fun with euphemisms!

My warts went away when I quit working at UPS. It was weird too, I only ever had them on one hand.

 - Jim M.

James:  I feel like poop on a stick

 me:  Blessed be thine journey through the great porcelain bowl of life.

 ...

 me:  Holy Shitsticks!

I think I've got that late 80's MIT look going on. I remember when I had ambition.

Zach H.

There's a light on your laptop...

It's kinda like the light-up Apple logo on the lid of  a Macbook. It openly declares, in a soft and soothing announcer voice,  "Attention. Douche-tastic computing is now in progress. I repeat, douche-baggery, is now taking place."