No seriously, it wasn't me...

I was trippin on acid, and when I woke up afterwards, all I could think was, "Fuck, I'm in a double-wide!"

- Anonymous (NO IT WAS NOT ME)

James: Last night, I was sleepy.  
James: Not today though.  I've had 5 cups of coffee!!!

me:  caffeen cAfFeen CaFfEEn CAFFEEN!!!

James:  Dude I can feel the earth vibrate

James:  This must be what its feels like to be a hippie

Today, I tried to use the internet to look up some information to help me troubleshoot a computer problem. I read a tech support forum, and wuz trannsparted toteh intardwebz.

Why are there keys attached to the gallon of milk, next to a bag of cat shit in the fridge?!?

- Denny W.

CERTIFICATES!!! Get your certifiably certified certificates of certification here! Now with more Bona-Fides!

AND VETTING!! Lots and lots of vetting!

It's amazingly real! It's legitimately authentic! It's wonderfully colossal! It's even mediocre!

What AM I talking about?!? Why, it's the next post that will NOT be written by {CB}Marsupial Vomit!!!

EDIT: Damit, I have more hilarity to post here, but someone else needs to make a post. And cross members. Then build a fence...

Freezepop you Daft Punk!

- Is this robot music?

Our listening pleasure is very animatronic today.
That sounded pretty terrible when spoken out loud.

- Yes, yes is did. Don't ever do that again.

Chinese for lunch

They were using Mexicans waaay before it was fashionable to do so.
 - Jim M.

When I'm rich, I'm gonna get a Mexican.
 - Zack H.

Mitthoties

No! I do not someone to bite my dick!
- Pain is pleasure, my dear.

Brilliant lunch desicion making

"Rally's sounds good, but I don't like Rally's."
 - Josh G.

Shit ON You

I wanna go to Best Buy with an engraver and 'modify' all of the SONY branded floor demos.