Letters for Christmas!

Dear Rob Zombie,  

 

      It's too bad people can't get rich by being completely talentless.  Oh, wait, nevermind; I guess they actually can.  

 

Sincerely, Matt B.

Computer Room in Shiloh

She looks like she took a bus to the face. And not just any bus. It was a rusty, flaming bus of death.
- Zack H

Roto-Router

While talking to my father about his upcoming appointment with the proctologists.

Me: "Why do they have to use conscious sedation on you for that"
Dad: "Their sticking 20 feet of shit up your ass, I'm sure it's a little uncomfortable"
Me: "I guess that makes sense, I've never had 20 feet of shit stuck up my ass."
Dad: "WELL ME NEITHER!"

Timmies!

Your eyes say no, but your nipples say yes.
- Jason M

Adventures in kitchen remodeling

You ever play operation?
 - Yeah, but, why?
You see that wire? It's live, and if it touches the metal, we're screwed.

- Josh G.

work work

Hey, since I've been eating your nuts all morning, you want some of my meat?
 - Ninjatech